I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
Randomize
