Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I want to have sex in my car again before I put the car seat back in
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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