Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
you know what would be perfect? if you flew in on a horse/cat holding taco bell and then you swooped me up and took me to disney world and it was magical
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I was drunk and on Craigslist.. The drunk-text offers people got must have been either horrifying or glorious
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
