Note to Self: No matter how horny, turned on or in the moment you are, never go down on your gf after she had soccer practice.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
