so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
So I had a Liz Lemon moment today....went to Chipotle to get my "cheer me up" burrito bowl for the 4th time this week and the chipotle guy sighed and said always the same huh?
i made sure i dropped the whole "im a yoga teacher" bomb which basically roofies a guys sense of judgement and guarantees he will sleep with me.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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