I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
Your fb status are always so intriguing.. Often make me picture you naked
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
is this the sara with the beer cane?
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
Randomize
