I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
i noticed he has a cardboard window on his car and he told me he locked his keys in his car and had to break in...this only makes him more appealing
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Randomize
