So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
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