dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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