So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
