hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Apparently I called him, said "vodka" and then hung up on him.
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
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