he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Do you realize that we tried to rent a limo at 5am to come and take us to waffle house?
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
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