she just fell off the couch. onto a bag of pretzels. her face resembled a cat that just swallowed a sock.
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
Randomize
