Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
The best part of that night wasn't even the sex, it was listening to her explain to her boyfriend why she was naked in her room while I hid in her closet.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I hung my underwear from the tree in his front yard. Consider my territory marked.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize