Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
