Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just served breakfast to a bunch of hella drunk kids. They kidnapped the birthday boy for his 21st and he was wearing a disney onesy and bunny ears. They've been drinking since before dawn, why don't we have friends like that?
I just found a list in your handwriting titled "Places I've Peed." The National Mall and 'under the second bridge after the bend in the road' are two of the tamer entries. I tip my hat.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
This is the drunkest I've ever been at a chili's
Randomize
