Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
