Approach what situation? Look, I dunno if you think I'm like some lezbo cheetah waitin in some shrubs to pounce on you the second I see you, but I'm not!
well, everyone in my office is getting a nice laugh right now. But seriously... please delete my number
How's work?
Spinning.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He was puking up tons. He aimed his face inside his coat. Not a drop in my car. Then he thanked me for the ride.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
You won't wear your Santa suit, I can't get trashed, and you won't use handcuffs! This is the worst Christmas EVER.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
