I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
So gin and wine won't be happening again
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
My dad, when he got home and saw me loading a bowl in the living room: "We have TWO beautiful balconies to get high on and you pick the couch?!"
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
Randomize
