he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
