in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
He woke me up for a 10am bootycall. he was already drunk when he got here and when we were fucking, bagpipes started playing amazing grace outside of my window!! I love Boston on st. Patties day!!
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize