FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
I've found my spirit animal. I'm a Snapple bottle. If you take my top off I'll tell you a fact about science.
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just jacked off to nostalgia.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Randomize
