is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Everyone was in the walk-in getting high, and I had to be all cool. Serving soup and salads. Night manager status doesn't pay enough.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
Randomize
