Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
How could she say that about my foreskin when she hasn't even seen all the cool stuff I can do with it?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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