this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize
