I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Lynn just told me "I heard about your divorce. Condoms or morning pill your choice and I'm buying". Sorry but I got plans now bro.
Randomize
