After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
DON'T BE A PUSSY. ONLY 1/3 OF THE WORDS IN YOUR LAST TEXT WERE MISSPELLED, WHICH MEANS YOU NEED 2/3 MORE SHOTS.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
Randomize
