If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Sorry I didn't call this morning. Ended up with a decorated war veteran last night who besides finding the enemy, KNEW where the fuck my G spot was. He gets a medal in my book!
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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