I'm convinced that Kathy Griffin and Andy Dick are the same person...
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Randomize
