Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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