did you get engaged???
Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
I should hang a sign above my bed that says "get hard or go home."
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
My roommate taped his phone to the ceiling fan to simulate walking so he could hatch Pokémon. Lazy people will always find a way.
Randomize
