One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
quick i need to know how implid consent works for golf carts
too late i think im gettin a gcui
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She made out with me for a free sandwich. What makes you think she is NOT up to my standards?
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
You kept licking me last night.... and said I tasted like jello. Next time, lay off the jello shots, okay?
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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