You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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