this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
you were leaning against the vending machine asking if there was a shower you could puke in.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Doing bumps while the kids play upstairs. #bestnannyever
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Randomize
