So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I think I am morally bankrupt
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize