i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
Okay. Did I say I did anything unusual? Because I usually do weird stuff. Did I clean mirrors? My mirrors are really clean, and I think I remember having windex..
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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