biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
you can't wake me up at 4am to suck your dick and then give me a high five at the bar
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
How are you feeling?
I mean, shattered dignity aside, not bad.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
Randomize
