gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
The bloodstain in the garden looks like a sad face. Like I don't already know this is bad...
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
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