I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
I WILL go to space. And if we find aliens I WILL fuck one. It’s the Marine Corps way
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