i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
Every time you visit for the weekend I end up having to bleach my entire house after.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize
