You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize
