i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
frankly if you're gonna get kicked out of your place, hooking up with your gay roommate's boyfriend would be the most entertaining way to do it.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
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