i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I have no idea what happened last night, but you're the only person I remember smashing my face into. Be honored.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Like wanna sit on your face while you speak German hot
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
