i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
Randomize
