We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
It's blow job season.
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
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