i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
Randomize
