Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
