I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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