Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Weer fine. went to buiy cigxs, but hes theonly one waering shoes. He caem out wti chicke fingers instead. whatecer, there th 8 dollar kind.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
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