Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Couch. On fire.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
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