3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
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