I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just cropdusted the office
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
