You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
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