never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
