No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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