i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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