She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
Randomize
