Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
You need to stop leading guys on at bars - you're a lesbian.
And now I'm a lesbian with better self-esteem.
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
Randomize
