a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
Randomize
