Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
So after this weekend I think I'm gonna go down on one knee and propose to my boyfriend that he give me his liver.
2 reasons we need to wear those onesies to the bar more ofter 1) comfy as shit 2) we both still got laid\n\nHow can you resist that kinda night?
There's an owl outside. I feel like he's hooing directly at me.
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
