ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Alright fuck it. Alcoholic Jamie is back and here to stay.
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
The moment I was petting the giraffe was the moment I passed out
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
