D3 body, D1 cock
My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
that's the first time I've heard "shenanigans" and "apocalypse" in the same sentence
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
dude, you ran into a window then asked ME what the fuck I was doing.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
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