I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
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